Hey readers! Sorry it look me so long to post another blog, but I was on spring break in Florida for a week. The other days, I don’t really have an excuse for other than the fact that I’m lazy.
Today, though, I thought I would spice it up by telling you all about where I was born. It’s not a common place, so get excited.
My parents grew up in the Pittsburgh area, and my dad was training in the Air Force. They married at 20 and first left with the military for England where my oldest brother, Josh was born on a military base. He received an American birth certificate, so he’s not a British citizen, in case you were confused. I was for several years.
After a year or so, my dad was reassigned to Montana, and my parents lived there with my brother and I for 2 to 3 years. Great Falls, Montana was where my 9 lb 3 oz completely disproportional fat self was born.
If you’ve never been to Montana, it’s basically all pure country. Mountains, woods, wildlife, you name it. They have buffaloes, elks, moose, and mountain goats along with the normal deer ans wolves of Pennsylvania wildlife. These animals were mostly located up in the mountains, and we visited often. We were an adventurous family.
Traveling was definitely adventurous, but also challenging, especially with a dad who embodies Clark Griswold from National Lampoon’s Vacation. “Short cuts” were always his favorite words. Once, we took my dad’s short cut up a very twisty hill, and everyone was vomiting. Awesome short cut, Dad.
My dad went hiking one time with us littles and our beagle lab mix who started barking at a bear, endangering our entire existences. My dad ran through the woods with us in hand. Definitely a Griswold moment.
The family went camping a lot, too. I loved visiting the camp sites, especially the men’s bathroom where I cried and pouted since I wasn’t allowed in. I was very defiant and bad. My mom spanked me, no worries (I’m totally better now).
Montana’s climate was very windy and I was a very bright lad, so I would hold my breath every time the wind blew on my face. Genius, I know. My parents had to shield me so that I could live another day.
It also snowed a lot more, sometimes above people’s heads, especially up in the mountains. In Glacier National Park located at Yellow Stone National Park, my dad brought a baby sled and pulled me. He went around a lot of corners and I would just roll off the sled. I was just so fluffy and round. And fat.
Some of the family members from Pittsburgh visited us in Montana, particularly my mom’s mom, Flounder Gram. Yes, that is her name. We had a lot of grandmas growing up, and she was the gram with the flounder fish. And no, she doesn’t have gills.
Flounder is a peculiar woman. She tried feeding the wild coyotes in Montana because she
felt bad for them, but that’s not even close to describing her unique personality.
One time, my dad rented snow shoes to walk on the snow, and my Gram put them on. She didn’t really know how to use them, so she started walking like an awkward chicken, and every time she lifted her shoe, the snow would hit her in the arse. She was so mad, especially at my dad who would rag on her constantly. She’s fun to mess with.
Living in Montana, we were able to access west coast states easier for vacations, such as Disneyland in Los Angeles, California, Redwood National Forest, Sequoia National Forest, the Grand Canyon, and other states such as Arizona and Washington State.
I loved car rides. Josh and I would look through our binoculars to find all the “buddafloes”. We couldn’t say buffaloes. I also really appreciated 90’s radio, particularly the Goo Goo Dolls, “I don’t want the world to see me”. Singing was my passion as a 2 year old.
Disneyland was my favorite place we traveled to. I absolutely loved it when I was younger. My brother was afraid of everyone but I was in love. We waited in line to see Cinderella, and I was so cute and I kept pointing to see Snow White. So, she cut the entire line and I got to see both princesses. What an evil genius I was.
My family eventually moved back to Pittsburgh, and I’ve grown up in PA for 18 years. Although I don’t remember hardly anything from my younger years, I really enjoy looking through pictures of the wildlife along with hearing the stories of our travels.
Montana will always have a special place in my heart.