The Chicken Hearts, Bruh

Hello everyone! I hope all of you are having a beautiful day.

I’m going to be completely honest with you all right now. My life isn’t that exciting. I keep trying to come up with new and exciting stories for my blogs, but with every blog I write, it becomes harder to think of new stories.

I know my blogs may give off the appearance of an exciting, adventurous lifestyle, but the reality of my life is completely the opposite.IMG_9762

Living at a small college in the middle of nowhere doesn’t really help matters. With roughly 400 students attending a Christian institution, life can sometimes be on the boring side. I’m very easily entertained, so that’s a plus.

Geneva is a weird school. It’s mostly filled with Reformed Presbyterians that are super strict, but I’m not that type of Christian. Everyone has their preferences, but I’m more free and easy-going. Sometimes, a little too much, I’ll admit.

My sophomore year is the most memorable year of my college career, and not because of anything dramatic or life changing. No, I did not get engaged or anything else weird you might be thinking, although people do get engaged here often.

This great moment in history started with two simple emoji’s. A group of guys that we knew very little about apart from them being easy-going Christians like ourselves always posted photos on Instagram ending their captions with a goat and a green heart emoji.

We thought it was kind of lame that grown men always posted the same emoji’s together, so we decided to school these children by giving them their own medicine. Thus, we created our own emoji: a chicken and a yellow heart.

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Little did we know, this would create complete chaos in a matter of seconds. My post on Instagram was completely covered in goats and green hearts. They even posted a picture of our heads cropped on dead chickens hanging in a meat factory.

It didn’t stop there. These guys took our emoji to a whole new level by placing a raw chicken on our rug outside our apartment door. It’s okay, though. Alyssa grabbed the chicken and rubbed it on their windshield.IMG_6176

Our room wasn’t safe anymore, so we got in our cars and drove around. The boys started throwing more raw chicken thighs at our car (where did these boys find all this time to purchase so much chicken?).

They also threw the chicken on our third floor balcony, but most of it was thrown on the balcony below us. They had terrible aim. It was unfortunate, since most of them were athletes at Geneva. That explained why our sports team suck real quick. IMG_6170

A couple nights later, the Chickens (that’s us) got pay back on the Geets (that’s the enemy) with Vaseline and cotton balls on their wind shield. The lady at Sheetz told us they spent hours wiping it off.

We may have gotten too cocky, and Alyssa drove up to talk to rub it in their faces. Then, out of nowhere a milk cartoon comes flying out of nowhere and perfectly lands in our car as we’re rolling up the window. I told them not go near them, but no one ever listens to me.

That whole night, they were constantly throwing milk at us. Once again, their aim was pathetic, except for the one carton in the car (luck I would say).

At the end of the night, we hid our cars once we got tired of chasing, but that night they snapped us a picture of our hidden car with green paint all over Kahtel’s bright white car. We hurried to the vehicle to find a cat eating the thrown food on the wind shield.

Our plan of revenge was to out-smart these jocks . We bought more cotton balls and put exactly one in every envelope and sent them out, one to every Geet member. Probably created a mass panic as they circled around trying to figure out what it all meant.IMG_6169

The guys visited our balcony often, throwing whatever they could find. One time they threw raw dogs, and I grabbed it and boomeranged it back at them behind a tree. The noise that came out of this guy’s mouth as he got chin slapped with a dog was so stupid and completely hilarious.

One night, we had water balloons attacking the side of our balcony, to which we fan outside to face our perpetrators. Kahtel got smacked hard with a balloon that night, but she’s not the most coordinated. That’s not necessarily a win for them.

We did throw down secret milk carton bombs from our balcony which sent them running for next time.

The final night of the prank war consisted of ranch-filled balloons and three dozen eggs being thrown around the neighborhood. Unfortunately, their aim had improved over the weeks, and I got an egg to the back of the head. It was the same guy I threw a hot dog at. Well played.

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IMG_6172During this whole thing, we made a Twitter account called ChickenHearts (follow us @TheCoop315) to combat the @kerrhouse69 account, mostly to keep score and talk our game up. We did have others help to join us along the way, spreading lies particularly to Dan Catroppa who we convinced that the boys were bullying us. He had our back.

Overall, my friends and I had an absolute blast pranking this group of fun-loving guys, even though we did almost get fined. Although we did create some enemies from on-lookers, the war was only meant to have fun at a dull IMG_6209campus filled with strict rules and overly obsessed workaholics.

We even had a member, Zachary Burns (a.k.a hot dog boy) cross over from the Geets to the ChickenHearts when he started dating our dearly beloved Kahtel.

So, in the end, we won.

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